What the internet is used for

Tookie

I have my own children's books to inspire youth to not join gangs:Look at Tookie. See Tookie kill. Tookie formed the Crips.Crips are shooting at Spot. Run, Spot, run! Spot is dead.See cops arrest Tookie. Tookie is in jail. See Tookie die by lethal injection. Die, Tookie, die!

Pissed Off Commuter

Why do people think that when they put on their fing turn signal that it means they can just move over? I mean what the fuck gives you the right away. Just because that little light is blinking on your dash does not give you the right to just barge into traffic. Piece of shits. If there is no room between my car and the car in front of me don't think your blinker makes room. Cuz it doesn't. Rat pig fucker.

Scenic Pics of Myrtle Beach Golf Courses

Story of the Weekend

Lots of Coors Light and Spicy Food

Putting out The "Lloyd" Vibe














Lots O' Golf

Relaxing Pics from the Weekend

Dammit

I can't figure out what the heck to be for Halloween. What the hell. Wife wants me to be Marc Anthony. Not too sure bout dat one. Then I have Mad Scientist. Which is easy, especially working for a medical company. Then I said I would be a streaker/flasher. HMMM.

My New Toy

Football is going to be great now. Oh yeah and 24 in HD.
Kick Azz

Random Pix w/ the Camera Phone

Karaoke Queens

Mom, youngest, and niece

Random Chest Shots

The Girls

The Roy

Don't PISS CL OFF

This is what happens when someone pisses CL off. Please whoever pissed her off say you are sorry the people along the Gulf Coast are a little pissed right now. Quotes about what Cindy can do if you piss her off

Cindy packed such a hurricane-like punch that
Cindy flooded streets, tore off roofs and left 287,000 utility customers in the dark.
Before coming ashore, Cindy plowed through offshore oil and gas fields in the Gulf of Mexico, where oil companies evacuated workers and shut in energy production. About a quarter of U.S. oil and gas comes from the Gulf of Mexico, and about 3.3 percent of it was shut down, the federal Minerals Management Service said. Oil refineries on land were also affected.

Hey Cindy just cuzz someone pissed you doens't mean you have to fark with our gas. I pay enough as it is.

BRING IT ON

Well it's that time of the year again for me. Somehow I seemed to be able to go to my company's national sales meeting. Gotta love it. Booze Booze and more booze. Miami is gorgeous as usual. It sucks having a room over looking the pool and beach. Ahh the sites here. Well time to go for a morning jog on the beach to get rid of my hangover.

Star Wars Rant

I'm am sooo pissed off at my company right now. The fuckers took my idea and then screwed me out of it. SHIT. So, here is my idea. Last year my company purchased about 400 tickets for a private screening of Spiderman 2. Pretty kewl. We could also take a guest and they had Starbucks, Jamba Juice, and Krispy Kreams there. So, this year I went to one of the leaders of our FMB (Fun Management Board) and suggested that we do the same thing for Star Wars III.
They liked the idea and got the ball rolling on it.

Now here is where I get screwed. Fuck, shit, damn, bastards from hell. Last week they send out a company wide email letin gpeople know that this was going to be offered and that the first 300 peeps would get tix. I was just about to reply and ask for 2 when I noticed the fing date. May 19th. What the fuck? I am not in town May 19th. I am on a freakin' business trip and get back late May 19th. Bastards. My idea and I get screwed. This sucks major ass.

Granted my trip is for our National sales Meeting and it is in South Beach Fl, but this is Star Wars and it is my freakin idea. ***Quick note anyone in South Beach have an extra ticket for the morning of the 19th let me know.*****The person who set this up stated well you get to see Hootie and the Blowfish , company's private concert in South Beach. Who freakin' cares about Hootie. Washed up has beens. Son of a bitch. South Beach better be worth it.


****** Quick note anyone in South beach have an extra Star Wars ticket on the mornin gof the 19th let me know.***(

What the F@*K

Today someone better be looking over their shoulder. I swear if I find out who fucked my my kids' cat vengence will be mine. Why the fuck would someone have to pour motor oil on a cat? I mean shit just cuz your cat is a pussy and can't hang with the beast doesn't mean you should step in in and fight for your lame ass cat. Shit now I am fucked. How the hell do you get motor oil out of cat hair. I bathed the damn cat for an hour this morning and two things happend. My bath tub looks like it is the freakin' parking spot for the Exxon Valdez and my cat now looks like a fat ass with skinny legs. The latter is due to him being soaking wet. Then the lil fucker jumped out of the tub into my lap and ran into the livingroom.
So, not only do I have a cat with oil all over him, I also have a pair of ruined shorts and a possibility of oil stains on my living room carpet. SHIT. Oh yeah and I will have to ruin my set of electric clippers to shave the cat. I wil have to post a picture of that on my blog for all to see. Should be a funny site. 20-25 lb. cat shaved. If anyone knows of another way to get oil off of pet fur please let me know. I am sure my cat will appreciate the help.
Lil' fucker who did this it's GAME ON and i am very good at playin gevil games.

What the F

Gas prices are killing me. $50+ to fill my Durango today. Holy shit. I think I need to sell stock now. It's not even summer yet. Farking environmentalists. Let people drill for damn oil. I don't care about 200 years from now. My kids ',kids',kids, kids will be talking about me and the ability to drink multiple beers with one hand. But that is about it. I may have to take out a loan by June just to pay for gas. FARK.

Cool Ideas

Ok so, last week the Sarge forced me to go and get a new desk for the house. I grumbled and fought a little bit about getting it, knowing I was going to lose the battle but was hoping to put it off another day, but ended up getting one. I moved the old one out of the house and into the garge and started setting up the new one. Upon completion of the new desk Sarge comes home and says it looks ok and asks me to do something around the house. Being a lil worn out from moving 2 different desks that each weigh a 100 lbs. I couldn't fight. So, I said I ain't doing shit but having a beer and eating dinner.
After have a few beers and getting relaxed I asked Sarge what to do with the old desk. " I dunno you figure that out. I just wanted you to buy and setup the new one." Figured this was going to be a long night I grabbed another beer and sat at the computer. I was tryin gto fin dout when the next neighborhood dumpster day was going to happen so I could shove the old one there. Then my sis IMed and we started chatting about stuff and she told me about this site called http://www.freecycle.org/.
The site is pretty kewl. Basically, it's all about people who are either wanting free shiat or are getting rid of shiat that people may want. I figured what the hell I will post that I have a free desk. Who would have thought that the next morning 9 people said they would take it. The next morning I put it out on the curb and by noon someone grabbed it. Pretty kewl that someone would want my shiat.
With this site my garage can now be clean by May. BRILLIANT!. Now I wounder if someone would take Sarge off of my hands? May have to look for another site on that one.

So long Goodbye

Well FUCK. I am going to have to end this blog. My wife found it and didn't like the things I have been saying. Pretty much she went postal on my ass. So, for the next few months I have to keep a low profile. I leave with this piece of advise... Don't hide something from someone cuz they always find out.

Today

Today is one of those JACK AND COKE DAYS. People at work are annoying the FUCK out of me. Although that makes me wonder how did FUCK get in me. Shit now I'm scared cuz FUCK has left me. I hope I don't need FUCK to survive. If I do then I'm hosed. So, here's to pushing up daisies.

Oh Goody

Here we go again. Round 2 for the year.

For Terra T

Well I better write something cuz Terra is threatening me and that is one woman that I would not want to piss off. So, let's see what to chat about. Well I started working out two weeks ago. Yes, the four fisted bandito is trying to lose his gut. Actually, what I am trying to do is push everything from around the mid section to the upper half of my body. I am even taking supplements. I almost killed one of my co-workers the other day when she asked if I wanted a cookie and I said "No, I am on a diet." She almost fell over. It is funny in my building cuz most everyone here is a registered nurse or has an MD and they are all overweight. I mean not a few pounds, I'm talking running to the end of the hall would just about do them in and some couldn't even do that. So, to hear me say that I was dieting and already in pretty good shape was a little much for her to hear.

So, let's see a status report on my progress. I have lost and inch and half off of the gut and added 4-5 lbs. My energy level is through the roof. I do think that my abs are going to start a protest rally due to the 500 situps/crunches a day. And why not, in the Bay Area everyone protests. It is nice though to actually be getting away from work for my lunch hours to workout, helps that we have a gym onsite. I am really watching what I eat. Lots of protein and less fatty foods. It's not strict or anything cuz I still have my beers. Hopefully, by May I can reach my goal of 200 lbs and a semi washboard gut. I think I am close.

Bit Torrents

I love this torrents stuff. BRILLIANT! F the Tivo. I now find myself watching less tv and saving cash. How? BitTorrents. Love it. All I have to do is go to the site locate the show I want and download it. BRILLIANT! Piece of cake. I don't have to pay for Tivo service and I don't have to pay for movie channels. Fantastic. No commercials no nothing. Save the shows to my external drive and I can now share them. Let's c Tivo do that. When tv shows like 24 come out on dvd I now don't have to by it. Why? Cuz I already have it. BRILLIANT! Oh yeah I love GUINESS as well. Last night before I even started watching 24 I was already downloading it. How kewl is that.

Too F'ing Funny

I just had someone come up to me at work and ask for a lighter. My first thought was, "Do I look like a smoker?". So, I looked in my desk and pulled out a pack of matches and asked if these were ok. The person asking gave me the biggest frown. I was like, "They are for a birthday cake they have a similar flame to a lighter what's wrong." The person then says, which I almost fell over, "I haven't used matches in about 10 years and I'm not sure how." Holy crap. I actually had to do a show and tell on how to use them. What is this world coming to that people don't know how to use matches. Shit as a guy I think I came out of the womb knowing how. It's almost a right of passage to be a guy.

Joke of the Day

Who said Mexicans can't think quickly.

Three men, one German, one Japanese and a Chicano were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The German pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. That was my pager" he said, "I have a micro chip under the skin of my arm.". A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a micro chip in my hand.". The Chicano felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as "impressive". So he stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his butt. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him oddly. The Chicano finally said.........., " Valgame Dios, will you look at that? I'm getting a fax.."

Back from Lost Wages

Ok I got back yesterday, but I was taking a nappy nap for most of the day. So, I am writing today. Deal with it.

So, let's see Friday morning....get off plane in Vegas 10am
pickup luggage 10:20am
contact friends that got there an hour earlier 10:23am
meet friends in airport bar 10:28am
leave airport for rental car 1:00pm (notice time in between bar and car) yeah started birthday off right with 2-large beers and 1 12oz beer
"Friends, how many of us have them. Ones you can depend on." Well I know I do cuz they treated me right.

After checking into the hotel at around 2:00pm it ws straight to the tables for more drinks. Had around 6-7 more beers and a couple of jack/cokes over the next few hours and then went to dinner. Cool little 50's dinner in the Startosphere. Food was good entertainment was just as good. Each server and bus person had to sing/dance the requested songs. Also, this big black buser kept trying to flirt with me. Thought that was funny so I played along. Left there and went back to the tables for some pai gow and bj. Drank around 13-16 cape Cods. Went to bed around 4:30am.

Got up at 6:20am went to softball fields and played 3 games. Back to the hotel around 6:30pm went to the bar to grab a couple of beers then went to take a shower. Took a quick nappy nap then went down for some buffet. Sucked ass. So, I had to recover from awefull dinner with beer and COCKTAILS. Played on the table s fo ra bit then went into a club that was in our hotel. Drank more beers and shots. They were suppose to have a guys best chest contest and a wet tshirt contest fo rthe chicks. Don't remember them havng the girls, but I laughed my ass off at the guys. The dude who won was freakin' funnier then hell. the whole bar was laughing and cheering. Drank some more. Took a shot between some chicks legs. Liked that. Ended up in bed again at 4:30am.

Got up at 6:30 am played ball till noon then went back to collapse on the bed. After about 4 hours we headed down to Fremont street for some more drinks and fun. F'd around there for a while then headed to the hotel to pack and get some sleep for the flight out Monday morning.

All in all a pretty successful weekend.

How Horrible is My Life

So, yesterday I got a call from one of my softball buddies asking and I quote, " Wanna getaway." I wasn't sure if I wanted to or not then he said it was for a tournament in Vegas this weekend. So, I said "Hell yeah." Tha was the good part. Here is where the shiat happens.

Last night I booked my airline and rental car, didn't need hotel room. After leaving my parentals pad last night, with kids and wife in tow, my trucks transmission started to slip. It just wasn't shifting correctly and at a couple of points wouldn't get out of first gear. I was pissed, but figured it maybe due to me not warming it up or something. So, this morning I was heading out of the house to drop off my lil' one and then head to work when it happend again. Last night wasn't too bad cuz it was 11:30, but this morning was on the expressway in morning traffic. I was driving down the expressway at 30 miles an hour with my truck red lining just trying to get to the next turnoff. After being told I was #1 by a few drivers I pretty much walked the truck to the day care. From there I walked the truck again to the transmission shop. Luckily, both of those places were not to far.

I then had to call the wife, dreaded doing, to have her pick me up so I could drop her and my other daughter off. Then after driving to work, in my wife's car, her car starts to act up. What the hell is going on here? Do my cars know that I just got my work bonus or something? Did the mechanics find out an sabatoge my cars? And why the hell does this have to happen the morning after I buy my Vegas tickets? Oh the humanity. I think it is time for my daily "FUKITOL" pill.

Beginning of the End

I believe that today maybe the beginning of the end in a chapter of my life. I can't say that I am too happy about it. It does mean some tough decisions I need to make in the coming days/weeks/months. So far, this year has been a very troublesome/problematic year. Not just with work or home , but in life in general. I think that sometimes I get taken advantage of cuz I am not a DICK. A jerk, a goof, or even a smartass, but not a DICK. Why is it that shitty things happy to nice people? Cuz they are not dicks. Now I may be a smartass when I am playing ball or hanging with friends, but they always know that if they have a problem they know who they can go to. What sux is if I vent ,which rarely happens, or have a problem they are used against me. What the F? Why is that? I don't have to bring up someone's past or wrong doings why do it to me. I'm not a perfect person. Never have been never will be. But I do try my best at things. At home, I can do what ever is needed, but that is not good enough. At work, I can be very accomidating to difficult situations that require me to take it in the ass, but it is never good enough. I'm not asking for pity or anything like that. I never will, a beer maybe but not pity. I just wonder that sometimes when these situations popped up that if I took my dosage of "FUKITOL" if people would then just leave me alone. Sometimes that is needed. So, for today I am taking my "FUKITOL" pill.

Be on the Look Out for the Shoe Polish Bandit

It's about 9:30pm and I hear a stirring in my bedroom and below is what I find. Somehow my lil' one got a hold of the shoe polish, the one with the foam pad on top, and decided to paint herself and the mouse and monitor. I was laughing so hard that I had tears.



Masked Bandit




Gene Simmons in training

Third shout out for the month

Happy Birthday Kiddo

My life right now in a blog

Let's see..... I just moved my freshwater aquarium from my kitchen to my living room. This has been taking most of my time. So far 4 days and counting. Can't wait to add the african cichlids into it. Nothing better after a hard day then sitting with my 2 year old and watching the fish swim about.

I can't wait for softball season to start back up. I made a deal with the wife when we got married that I would play form March through Sept and in the months of Oct and Nov play sparingly. Mostly, just charity tournaments. I am starting to get the itch to start running and throwing the ball around again.
I have also been listening to a lot of music. I just burned a new cd for my truck and I don't think it will leave any time soon. The play list is as follows .... 1) The Killers - Somebody Told Me
2) Green Day- Boulevard Of Broken Dreams 3) Take me out - Franz Ferdinand 4) Lenny Kravitz - Lady 5) Mixed Song not sure of name 6) 3 Days Grace - Just Like You 7) The Killers-Mr.Brightside 8) Linkin Park Vs. Jay-Z - Numb Vs. Encore 9) Greenday - American Idiot 10) U2 - Vertigo 11) Wake Up from Matrix 12) Disturbed - Stupify

Songs 1 -7 are the ones I listen to most. 1,3,6,7 all kick ass. This cd sooo helps with commute to and from work.

The latest book I am reading is Rainbow Six by Tom Clancy, 2nd time reading and I loving it. I am a very visual reader almost to the point that as I read I see a movie being played out. Tom's books have so much depth and character development that I just get wrapped up in them. Oh yeah I am also reading a book on Microsoft Project 2003. I know, I know not good reading, but I have to stay ahead of the bumbling idiots I support at work.

After all that I have 3 birthdays in my house this month, wifes and 2 daughters. Damn after Christmas I don't even get a financial reprieve. Then I have valentine's day next month and with 3 women at home broke again. Guess that is why in March for my birthday I take off on a solo tour of Vegas every year to play softball.

Oh yeah and then there is 24. Glad that is back on the tv. Love that show. On wed. Lost and Alias have my evenings. Thurs CSI. Can't miss that.

I think that is enough for now.

With all of these items there is plenty of beer to let the good times roll.

2nd Shout Out of the Month

Happy Birthday Drea

2 great lines

Beer commercials are great, but here are the 2 best lines. Course they are from the 2 beers that I drink the most. "..and the TWINS." "Brilliant!" Now if only Guiness and Coors Light could do a commercial with both of them in it.

Trying to figure this out

Why in the world would this be a bad thing? Invited parents over for lunch and football after church today. When I got home I started to clean the house. Started with living room first and then the bathroom. I was almost finished with the bathroom when all of a sudden my wife startd going off on me for inviting my parents over with the house a mess. I couldn't believe it. Here I was almost done cleaning the bathroom (which no one likes to do) and I get shiat for it. I even filled in holes in the living room walls from all of the screws and nails that my wife has used over the years for pictures. And I get shiat for that.

So, this is what I told her. I didn't say shiat fo rher inviting her sister over for tonight so why say anything about my parents. Hell she should be happy that I did. If I hadn't invited the parentals over then she would have had to clean the house by herself with no help from me. I would have spent the whole day drinking beer and watching football. Instead I miss most of the first game cleaning and going to the store for groceries. Ok the store thing was mostly cuz I was out of beer, but I did get other things. Why am I getting yelled at?

Who knows. I do know one thing though. for the rest of the playoffs she can clean the house by herself on Sunday. Cuz I ain't doing shiat. Well drinking beer and watching football are going to be the only things I do. I can't win, but at least if I get yelled at I can use my man's sixth sense of selective hearing while I am doing the things I enjoy. Oh well let's go Falcons. And Manning you suck. At least if you are going to break my boy Marino's record you can get the f'ing ring. Peace and I'm out.

Quick lil' shout out

Happy Birthday kiddo

2005 starts with a day off

I'm loving it that my company took the 3rd off for New Year's. It's great knowing that on a Monday I get to sleep in, well as long as my 2 yr daughter sleeps in. It's been a blast spending the day w/ my daughter. I never realized how smart this kid is until today. I can't believe how well she can communicate at such a young age.
Today when she woke up she walked over up to me in bed and said "Daddy I want eggs." BLew me away. Then she walks over to the refrigerator and brings me the gallon of milk so that I can fill her bottle. The funny thing is that when she takes it back she brings me "Daddy's bottle." (BEER). Hard to explain to the lil' one that Daddy doesn't need his bottle in the morning. But hey she is 2 and proving that she is trainable.
Later in the day, after we picked my oldest daughter from school, a couple of songs came on from the cd I was playing and she started to sing some of the words from the songs. It was classic when Eminem's song Just Lose It comes on and she goes "Ahahahah" right on cue. Then she started doing the Sprinkler. At that point I almost ha dto pull over I was laughing so hard. Damn this kid is going to be fun growing up.